On the darker side of things.....

Today she is crying, she doesn't cry much, just when the pain is too much to take.  Her heart has been broken most all of her life, her childhood covered with sexual abuse, emotional torment, and loss.  No one understands her, and oh yes she has tried to run away, many times, in many ways.  She has built walls the strongest army could never tear down, and her guard is always up, she is distrusting, and tough as nails these being the tools of those who survive the things she has seen and walked through. 

She wears a smile most of the time, and when she laughs the whole room can hear her, because when she puts on a front she makes sure everyone pays attention.  She only shares her heart with a few and only shares her whole heart with one.  The one who has taken her this far....HE already knows it all anyway, he's the only one she can't hide anything from.

There have been moments in her life that have been full of REAL true happiness and the fact that she is able to hold on to those moments is the very thing that allows her to function in this life, that and her love.  He watches her cry sometimes, holding her hand wishing he could take the pain from her, but he can't.  It runs too deep, all the way to the depths of her soul, but she is comforted by his touch anyway.  He knows her darkest secrets and loves her still, she doesn't know why but she is greatful for him.

She still has flashbacks of the things that she wants to forget but can't.  She prays begging God to heal her from all she has been put through but feels as if her prayers always seem to hit the ceiling....She is a bit angry but not with God just with her lack of control she wishes she could fix this but after so many tries now knows she can't.

So she will continue to hold the hand of her love, tightly grasp all that there is that does bring her happiness in this life, and pray that just one of those prayers will be answered in the form of some quiet.  She longs to live forever but in some sort of peace....she is searching for something that so far in this life has been completley unattainable,   she wants to forget, but she can't. 

She sees the faces of her children and longs for them to never face the things she has but to live perfectly sheltered lives, in love with Jesus who is our only savior, with laughter spewing uncontrollably from their mouths knowing deep and I mean deep into the depths of their souls that they are adored and loved by her. 

She is just misunderstood, hurt, abused, and longing to be able to step away from the dramatic chaos that has brought her to where she dwells today.  She wants to be her "tough self" holding on to the fact that she is untouchable because she has locked all her feelings deep inside of her for noone to see, but today she is broken, she cried, and someone saw her, she is let down, she is lost.

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

ONE LOVE





 

I love my "NOT SO NUTTY" Son!

I am posting my personal safe food/candy list on my blog for the Halloween season.  I have had several friends ask me for it so here it is. NOTE: This is my personal list the one I give to people who may come in contact with my child, who is peanut/tree nut allergic.  I can not guarantee that any of these products are free of any other allergens.  (Stick with yummy earth or enjoy life foods for a safe candy free of all 8 BIG allergens)I also would like to remind everyone product labeling changes all the time so just because I list them as safe doesn't ensure they are safe always check labels for any changes that could have been made.  
 Yummy Earth website (click here)

HAPPY FOOD ALLERGY SAFE HOLIDAYS!


Because product labels are constantly changing…when buying any product including the ones on this list you should always look for after checking the ingredients list, look on the label for phrases like these:

• "may contain nuts"
• "produced on shared equipment with nuts or peanuts"
• "produced in a facility that also processes nuts"

People who are allergic to nuts also have to avoid foods with these statements on the label. Although these foods might not use nut ingredients, the warnings are there to let people know the food may contain traces of nuts. That can happen through something called "cross-contamination," when nuts get into a food product because it is made or served in a place that uses nuts in other foods.

·         Vanilla Wafers (Kraft Foods)

NABISCO

·         Teddy Grahams (Chocolaty Chip,Chocolate,Honey)

·         Honey Maid Graham Crackers

·         Ritz PLAIN

·         Oreos(PLAIN no double stuffed or colored icings)

·         Pepperidge Farm Goldfish PLAIN

·         Cheerios

·         Orville Redenbachers Pop Corn Ultimate Butter

·         Caprisun Juice Boxes

·         Pringles Potato Chips (Procter & Gamble)

FRITO – LAY

·         Cheetos

·         Doritos

·         Sunchips

KELLOGGS

·         Poptarts

·         Fruit snacks

CANDIES
Tootsie rolls


Tootsie roll pops


Smarties both rolls and pouches


Dum-Dum pops CHEWY DUM DUMS ARE NOT SAFE
Air Head products
CHARMS is made by the Tootsie company they make BLOW POPS they are also safe!


PEEPS


Hershey's Kisses (PLAIN)
YUMMY EARTH products are all safe for the "top 8" Allergens (lollipops sold at toys r us)
Jet Puffed Marshmallows
PEZ
All WONKA candies (WITH THE EXCEPTION OF CHOCOLATE)

Remember traces of nuts are found in STRANGE places shampoos, cheeses, soaps, some juices, pizza crust….

Carson's NUT FREE FAVORITES this year are....

Ring Pops By:BAZOOKA

KRAFT Jet-puffed
BooMallows / pumpkin bat and gost shaped marshmallows sold in individually wrapped packages of 40 @Walmart stores.  

ONE LOVE,
Cody