So for her birthday I took her flowers...I left them on the porch and ran. AFRAID...of what I might find if I were to go inside.
She knew I loved her, I knew she loved me this was good enough...
I got home from the "flower drop off" and my phone rang....she left a message..Cody, "This is your grandma...I love you thank you for my flowers."
Realizing that she realized I had been there and left I was overwhelmed with emotion. I got in my car and drove. On the way there I imagined what I would see in her eyes. I thought of what I would say.
I walked in to find her laying in the bed. She still looked lovely...She was wearing a red hat and her nails were polished as they had always been. She smiled at me when she heard my voice. She can barley see these days. I sat by her and she held my hand...
I started telling her funny stories about the kids and our trip to the beach...as she looked straight ahead and never said a word...When I finally stopped talking she spoke..."I love you Cody" I said I know Grandma I love you too!
As she fell asleep she kept a tight grip on my hand...I looked around the room at all the cards and flowers from all the people who love her, I thought about the last time I had been in that room...when she was still cancer free...I wondered how I would leave...what I would say...and if it would be the last time I told her I loved her?
So I squeezed her hand and said go to sleep now Grandma I love you and I will see you again soon...She said I love you MORE! I walked out of the room and cried....
I am not sure if I will see her again on this side of eternity, but I am happy tonight I made the decision to go and see her. I think she was glad too! I love her...and this sucks...SCREW YOU CANCER...
Her Granddaughter,
Cody
