Facebook AFTER Death....

In the past few months I have had several people make comments to me about Facebook. They say oh I had to delete my FB, I am just on there so I can stalk my sons father. Oh I need to delete my FB people on there make me say things I shouldn't. Oh well I had to take those pictures off my FB because I just posted them to make someone mad...

I spoke to someone today who said...Yea I looked at her FB and you can tell all she does is party...

I began to think. What if I was dead, and others who never knew me looked at my FB page what would they see. If asked what would they say about my life, from the "look" of my FB page. What would people say about me as the scrolled through my pictures...She loved her kids...is that a beer she has in her hand....WOW she wore that? She was friends with that guy?

I know I know many people might be thinking I DON'T CARE what people who look at my FB page think about me....Well if you are a Christian you should....if you are a parent you should...if you are a Sunday school teacher you should...I could go on and on.

Reality is our lives...including our FB page are reflections of who we are who we are as individuals, who we are in Christ...of our hearts...Does yours reflect that of a Christ follower? Does yours reflect that of a mother your children could be proud of or a husband your wife can trust...or maybe even a student who sets a good example for others?

So first we must think WHO is it we want to reflect? What type of person do we want people to see in us? That answer will be different for each of us, but as for me, I want to reflect my love for Jesus, my commitment to my husband, the happiness brought into my life by four fantastic kids, my friendships....

So I challenge you to read your post as if you were dead...as a person going to your page to look in and decide who was this person and what did their life stand for? Would you be proud of the answer?

One Love,
Cody

Parents just don't understand.....

More and more each day I am learning I have four very different children. Each with their own soul and passion, each with a unique personality and will to do what they know to be the adventure of life.

Sometimes they are happy and some days they are sad some moments are filled with creativity and some with frustration, many moments in a house of six are filled with work and many with fun and imagination.

I find myself so many times as a mom embracing the moments that are filled with positive behaviors and enjoying the uniqueness of each of my children. The moments when Hali wants to do nothing but read. The moments when Meccia paints freely and creates what I believe to be a masterpiece, or when my boys Carson and Easton play pirates and sail the ship (laundry basket) around the house.

But how do we handle the moments when our children are being themselves in ways that are hard for us as parents to deal with?

When they are sleepy at four in the afternoon and its not a great time for a nap but not quite bedtime. Do we expect them to just suck it up and behave even though that is not how they are feeling at that moment, or do we just lean in to that emotion with love and be understanding with some of the behavior we wouldn't normally except, because we know it is because they are tired.
Or like when you have a strong willed child one who doesn't want to be told what to do...Do you demand they follow your every command or do you embrace that strong willed child and instead give them a few choices all of which are acceptable options and allow them to make the decision.

I am discovering every day how much I as a parent need to stop trying to turn my children into something they just simply are not. I think all to often as parents we want our children to grow up and be doctors when they may in all actuality want to grow up to be a airplane pilot or an artist or even hold your breath a stay at home mommy!

We want our three year olds to act as if they are ten...We expect perfection from inperfect children...How would you feel if people put those same expectations on you...Maybe they already do..Maybe you are stressed and feel useless and incompetent. Maybe you are longing to be your true self but feel as though you will be met with confrontation and a lack of understanding from those around you.

Is this what we are doing to our children? Maybe some of us without even realizing it?

I pray that I am a parent who shows my children support one who embraces who they are as individuals never expecting them to be or act like anything but themselves. I hope that I am a parent who shows unconditional love and one my children can count on to stnad behind them through any struggle they might face.

A Soul's Stirring

Tears of joy and heartbreak flow as I read the outlook of a trusted friend on my recent subject...Hearing NO...

I thought I would post the link to her blog here...

A Souls Stirring

Cody

What if the answer is no?

So today there was a situation in my car. Easton my three year old wanted me to turn on the TV. I told him since we were only driving a short distance we would not be turning the TV on for this trip. He was not happy to say the least. He yelled at me TURN ON THE TV! When I said no he continued for the entire five minute car ride to yell TURN ON THE TV over and over. Needless to say this method didn't change my answer no matter how hard he tried my answer was still no.

As I looked back on that moment I thought this is very similar to the relationship some of us have with God. We pray about something, we ask God to give us an answer and many of us don't mind waiting on the answer....as long as it is a yes.

The thing is sometimes we wait and the answer is no. Sometimes we wait, and we get nothing.... no answer...(I take that as a no also.)

This is when we sometimes begin to act just like my three year old. We get angry or frustrated with God because we just are not getting the answer we had wanted from him.

He is not going to open the door for that job, you didn't get the loan you needed, the adoption didn't go through, God did not choose to heal the person you have been praying for...Sometimes the answer is just no.

Here is where you would expect me to say some kind of really wonderful thing that would make hearing no from your Heavenly Father better or easier. I don't have that word. I don't have that comfort. I think here is where we need to get off the floor stop throwing the tantrum...stop yelling at God to give us our way and fall back on his word, not only his word but his promises.

In Romans 12 the Bible tells us his will is perfect and good, in Jeremiah it tells us the Lords plans are to prosper us. You have to trust he knows best....

PROVERBSS 3 5:6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in him,
so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Lamentations 3 22:23
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.


I think on the days I find myself most confused I run to his word, I run to the answers he has given me.


I will leave you with this quote as you ponder how you will handle the answer no from God...



We only want His BEST!!!! If what we want doesn't line up with what He wants for us then it will always be second best!
Tabitha Lewis

Dirty Diapers & Love!

So I was listening to focus on the family today. I just love that radio show. Anyway today it was about marriage and something profound was said.

Your marriage should be like a cloth diaper.
I LOVE THIS!!!

In todays world so many things are disposable, silverware, dishes, hand towels, watches, even husbands and wives.

Marriage is not supposed to be a throw away item...disposable.

If we looked at our married life like a diaper, in our hearts is it disposable? Are we all just waiting for the moment that it gets messy and starts to stink, for the moment when the "situation" gets to be too gross to handle, so we can just throw it away and bring in a new one?

Here is the first issue. A diaper is a diaper, and a marriage is a marriage, and no matter how you handle them they are all going to stink at one time or another.

I think (and so does the guy who talked about it on the radio today) We should look at our marriage more like a cloth diaper. It will get nasty, it will stink, there will be "situations" but when they arise you work them out. You clean them up, you deal with them, hang them out to dry and then you bring them back in the house put them back on and keep on crawling!

You don't throw them away!

Marriage is hard ,but it is not a throw away item.

So is your marriage disposable or is it just an old cloth diaper one you know might get stinky but you are willing to work with and clean up for love?

Dear Josh......

Josh,

OK I have tried to type this three times now only to erase and do it over. I think it is because I was writing this for my readers not for you. Trying to word my note so that they could understand the point of March 4th to me. Trying to do that without putting too much personal information but enough love.

I now realize this is not for them it's for you!

So here goes!

Oh my three years! I can not believe it! I AM SO PROUD. There are no words to discribe all the feelings this day creates for me every year! I look back on how far you have come! How honest you have been with me every step of the way! How you have taken this journey day by day never taking for granted how far you have come! How I have grown to love you more...(I thought that was impossible) How I love you differently since March 4th 2008. How my soul is connected to the Godly man you have become more than I ever was before...

I am always proud to be your wife but on this day each year I am a little more proud than usual!

HOOOORAAY!

All my love,
All my life,
Babe

To all our friends who celebrate this day with us each year. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for your understanding for your support and for your encouragement. Most of all for just loving us for nothing more than who we are. Through this journey you have become more than our friends, you are our family.
ONE LOVE,
Cody