The view from my pedestal

Well today I did it...I always do....No matter how much I try...I always let my mouth get out of control....AT TIMES I might even act a little childish or "redneck"

I have always been opinionated and loud, a little too blunt, and overly honest...to a fault at times...I am so true at times sometimes I feel if I keep my mouth shut when I think something or have a thought cross my mind that I might be "fake" to keep that feeling to myself...

The old "I felt it there for it shall be said" rule that's in the bible I am sure...Somewhere it must be.

The people that know me best know my heart, they know I am a sinner with a bad background one filled with drugs, premarital sex, teen pregnancy, lies, and divorce.

They also know I am a changed person in many ways. I have left much of my past behind me. You see I knew the Lord when I did all of those things...just didn't care too much about what he thought about it...Knowing the Lord and having a relationship with him are two different things you know.

Now getting back to what those who know me best know about me...Well they also know I am sarcastic, moody, and will flip on another person in about 3 seconds if given the right situation. This is something I am not proud of. I do not do a great job at controlling my mouth nor my anger.

You see I think when you refer to yourself as a "christian" people tend to put you on a "perfection-ometor" or they put you on this pedestal that God knows you will never live up to.

Today I was approached with this statement..."I thought you were supposed to be a Christian?"

My first reaction to that was

1. I AM

2. What do you care

3. Stop worrying about my relationship with the Lord and worry about your own.

BUT
After thinking about it for a while I came to this conclusion. The Lord commands us to love others, and I will try to do this.

This person is hard to love and I am trying to get my heart right about that...

For now these are the things I would say to her if she were reading this...

First I am sorry for my childishness

Second I would encourage you to work on your relationship with Jesus and pull from him your "view" of perfection because Christians here on earth will NEVER meet that expectation for you.

My prayer for myself would be that I could control my mouth and my anger when I am attacked.
because in Gods word it tells us RECKLESS WORDS PIERCE LIKE A SWORD BUT THE TONGUE OF THE WISE WOMAN BRINGS HEALING

Also I would tell you this
THERE IS DECEIT IN THE HEARTS OF THOSE WHO PLOT EVIL BUT JOY FOR THOSE WHO PROMOTE PEACE.
Proverbs 12:22

I pray this for you...That you would find it in your heart to understand this verse and put it into practice...

Moving on looks a little like this....

Today as I realized it is the anniversary of the death of a great man of God husband and father of three Zac Smith. This just following the one year anniversaries of the deaths of Russ Church and Brent Batson dear friends of Josh and I.

I woke up this morning to read about sweet Kate who is so young and will have a MRI of her brain tumor this morning

I am surrounded by death... The thought of it rarely leaves me as I find small reminders of the struggles of those here on earth and the loss of those now gone to be with the Lord.

I try to find comfort in worldly things in a picture or the voice of a friend or family member, but I guess we are just all putting one foot in front of the other right?

Someone asked me this past week can't you just move on...

I have...

I am here right? I thought to myself...

I am moving on the best way I know how...

By trying to learn from the loss we have suffered as a family...Trying to remember to love harder, to not let the little things in life consume me, to make my life count, and to make it one worth remembering, to hug my children more and fuss at them less, to "love harder and worry less" this is what Brooke and I have been telling each other.

I really thought I would be able to move on with my life and just forget this at some point...at some point that these people I once held so dear would simply begin to fade as my life here on earth moved forward but one year later I can say the pain is still there and the memories still fresh...

So what do we do with that? How is this the new?

We stay positive....We keep our eyes open for opportunities to love others, to help others, MOST IMPORTANTLY to share the love of Christ with others...

We live life...
This weekend we did that by donating enough blood to save over 100 peoples lives!

Every now and then I do this by sending sweet Caitlin Church a card or a little gift to let her know we love her...On mother's day it is a card to a mom who no longer has her child to send one, on the alter it is a prayer begging God to save the lives of our friends who still don't know him.

Moving on comes in all kinds of packages...

Cody Michelle Wyatt 5/12/1982 - 00/00/0000
Its not the day you are born or the day that you die but the DASH in-between that counts...

What have you done with your DASH today?

ONE LOVE,
Cody