So on myspace there is this new thing you can put on your page it is were people can leave comments about what they think of you, but there is no way to tell who left them? I love it and hate it all at the same time! LOL
So that being said today was a really bad day i guess the past few weeks have not been so great! I am really down right now i am in a stage of life where i kinda feel stuck! Although i love my sweet kids so much it is hard to get out alot with four children under the age of eight!! I guess I have kinda forgotten who I am without them! I used to not be a mom! I don't really remember that but there was a time! I had Hali at 18 and by then i was working two jobs, i had not lived at mom and dads for over a year, and i was a loud, blunt, don't take no crap of nobody, do it myself, girl, who needed nothing from no one. I had done it on my own as others looked on just knowing i would fail, i may have slipped at times but i WAS STRONG! I took the world on and did it pretty well!
Now that I have four children life is much different! It is not my world! My world belongs to four other people and I do what they need not what I want! I NEED my husband !!! I could not work those two jobs if my life depended on it I would have to pay daycare for four kids? I don't have any freedom. I long to find myself again!
Life is just not in my control right now and it has really just made me sad, I don't feel so strong anymore! I do long for the days when it was me and my backbone against the world! I have felt weak latley like i am just not able to do anything on my own due to my children or the fact that i have just given up!
Now back to the myspace thing! I went online today to read my truths sent to me by others and saw this.....
I think you are the strongest person I have ever known. There is nothing that you can't do. You have a presence like no other. You demand respect, love willingly, hold no punches, and go get what you want without waiting on help bc you know you could do it better on your own. I have no doubt you can do anything and everything you want to do in life. You scare me because I know that you are not even close to the woman that you will become one day. You are a force to be reckoned with.
WOW!! Oh how i needed that! It really reminded me yes i am a mom and I DO LOVE THAT ABOUT ME, but undernieth the diapers and dishes i am still CODY "a force to be reckoned with" I don't know who left this message and i am sure they could never understand how bad i needed to hear it but boy it was great to hear i huge boost to my soul! A reminder of who i am and what i have always stood for and always will stand for strength of character, and a strong soul a heart that can be broken but pushes on through it all! ME, CODY, A MOM, STILL A STRONG PERSON!
Love
Family
Friday, November 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
On Thurs. The 9th of October I sent an email to a friend about how I was questioning weather or not I was called by God to do something? I told him that because of some hard issues that stood in the way or could make it hard for me to answer this call, I was considering just not answering what God was calling me to do. Well actually I said I need to pray about it some more. Now the truth be known I knew my calling, I did not know if I wanted to accept it? So sad I know but it is true.
Now moving on to the next day... I had a few conversations with Josh about this and I had of course been praying about it. To Josh once I realized this was my calling the only other question to ask myself was did I TRUST GOD enough to work out every and any issue that may stand in the way of me completing the task God had called me to do? Despite the fact a week earlier my daughter had fallen ten feet on to her head and God had let her walk away with only a bruise. Despite the many times God had spared my life when I look back and think I didn't desrve to live. I ask myself do I trust him enough, and my HONEST answer was "I don't know?"
Now onto that afternoon... Right before I left to go pick up my girls from school i got an email from Josh's dad this was what I read...
THE BRICK
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down
when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?' The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister. please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother,' he said, 'he rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.'
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.
I then got my two baby boys in my van and left to pick up my girls and also a friend of Meccia's. I had gotten about three blocks from my house when I was hit by a old lady in a Caddy on my side and also on my 9 month olds door. It all happened so fast I don't even remember the
hit. I remember pausing to go ok am I ok... Yes now my door would not open so I craweled to the back to check on the boys they seemed ok. I went to call someone and I could not find my cell phone (it had been thrown across the car) So I rolled my window down as folks looked at me and kept going I realized no one was going to stop I could not call for help so I thought about what I read before and took the time to pray "oh God please help me I want to call my husband and 911!" I loooked down and there sat my phone, I then looked up and there was a fire fighter he was coming from another call and saw my wreck. WOW as the wreck went on and help arrived including pastor Chuck who just so happened to ride by, Josh, and several others I knew, I was able to breath and go God just threw a Caddy at my van so I would take the time to listen. God wispered to my soul and I was too busy to hear him , I was too busy, too wrapped up in my own life and what I thought I had to get done to say ok God I will make time for you.
How funny God spoke to me through an email? Needless to say all through my life God has shown me time and time again to listen and trust him, but more so than ever latley he has shown me slow down and take time to hear me when I whisper take time to make those moments of silence when you can really hear me clearly. Then when you do understand no matter what you think is going to make what I am asking you to do impossible know I am the ALL MIGHTY, I can part seas and move mountains and your little issues are nothing for me!
I learned alot through this scary event and thought I would pass on my lesson, please I hope I will always remember to listen I do not want God to have to throw another Caddy my way!
Loving my GOD!
Cody
Now moving on to the next day... I had a few conversations with Josh about this and I had of course been praying about it. To Josh once I realized this was my calling the only other question to ask myself was did I TRUST GOD enough to work out every and any issue that may stand in the way of me completing the task God had called me to do? Despite the fact a week earlier my daughter had fallen ten feet on to her head and God had let her walk away with only a bruise. Despite the many times God had spared my life when I look back and think I didn't desrve to live. I ask myself do I trust him enough, and my HONEST answer was "I don't know?"
Now onto that afternoon... Right before I left to go pick up my girls from school i got an email from Josh's dad this was what I read...
THE BRICK
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down
when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?' The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister. please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother,' he said, 'he rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.'
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.
I then got my two baby boys in my van and left to pick up my girls and also a friend of Meccia's. I had gotten about three blocks from my house when I was hit by a old lady in a Caddy on my side and also on my 9 month olds door. It all happened so fast I don't even remember the
hit. I remember pausing to go ok am I ok... Yes now my door would not open so I craweled to the back to check on the boys they seemed ok. I went to call someone and I could not find my cell phone (it had been thrown across the car) So I rolled my window down as folks looked at me and kept going I realized no one was going to stop I could not call for help so I thought about what I read before and took the time to pray "oh God please help me I want to call my husband and 911!" I loooked down and there sat my phone, I then looked up and there was a fire fighter he was coming from another call and saw my wreck. WOW as the wreck went on and help arrived including pastor Chuck who just so happened to ride by, Josh, and several others I knew, I was able to breath and go God just threw a Caddy at my van so I would take the time to listen. God wispered to my soul and I was too busy to hear him , I was too busy, too wrapped up in my own life and what I thought I had to get done to say ok God I will make time for you.
How funny God spoke to me through an email? Needless to say all through my life God has shown me time and time again to listen and trust him, but more so than ever latley he has shown me slow down and take time to hear me when I whisper take time to make those moments of silence when you can really hear me clearly. Then when you do understand no matter what you think is going to make what I am asking you to do impossible know I am the ALL MIGHTY, I can part seas and move mountains and your little issues are nothing for me!
I learned alot through this scary event and thought I would pass on my lesson, please I hope I will always remember to listen I do not want God to have to throw another Caddy my way!
Loving my GOD!
Cody
Saturday, October 4, 2008
WOW ever written a blog way back when then went back to read over it and found wow i was speaking truth into my own life! I knew what was going to happen before it happened? I am blown away by my "God I don't wanna" blog right now! I was just going through and reading over it and it just was so true it was not at all where i am but where i said i wanted to go since writing that blog which was actually written on March 3rd 2008 it was transfered from another blog on the date shown anyways it was like reading it was a direct word from god ask and you will recieve i asked for so many things only to recieve just those things it blows me away i thought back then i was asking so much god will never REALLY lead me where i need to go but he took me by the hand god will never answer my prayer to be a WHOLE christian and he took me under his wing and would not let me go, God would never let me do bigger things for the kingdom i am a screw up an idiot who has made more mistakes than God could ever begin to forgive me for! and he said you are forgiven walk this way with me and let me show you the BIG things i would like YOU to do! WOW and when i think i am not strong enough i just look back on my life if God can bring a screw up like me to a place of GRACE like this i owe him my everything my whole self! I am truley amazed by my AWSOME GOD and all he has done for my husband and I. MAN OH MAN!
me
me
Saturday, September 13, 2008
God "I said I don't wanna"
so tonight at 1:30 am i can not sleep i am so confused! i have had some reservations about god and all that he brings i have often wondered although i have been raised in church is it all really real!
i made a pact with myself a good long while back that i would begin to pray so i did! I actually begain to pray alot in this i realized he is there! he heard all of my prayers and answered some of them how i wanted him to! i have now come so far in my prayerful life that i like to talk to god as if he were sitting next to me! i argue with him when i feel like he is not doing what i want him to i cry to him when there is no one around sometimes i scream to him to help me when i feel like i just can not take it anymore and he hears me i know he does!
i have often taught sunday school, reading bible stories to children the night after i have gone out and gotten drunk with my friends! i used to think it was ok as long as no one knew or you know the old at least i made it here this morning thought. i have been part of the prayer chain i have bought toys for needy kids i have taken food at 6 am on christmas eve to familys in need i have helped with bible school and even scrubbed the church toilets a time or two...
this did not make me a christian this did not make what i do in my private life ok this did not justify the way i live in my day to day life. i can no longer be one person on sunday and another through the week... now dont get me wrong i am not a awful drunk who neglects her children and smokes crack i am just your average i like to go out and kick it in a bar with my friends and get away kind of person a girl who lets a cuss word fly every now and again, and that may be fine for some and it was fine for me, but not now
i feel like i am supposed to do more i am a half christian and that is not at all what god wants me to be i have to be a whole christian and of that i am afraid! i am afraid when people hear i want to make some changes that they will expect me to be perfect pointing out my every mistake as if i am some kinda billboard for the "messed up christian" i do not claim i will ever be perfect but i will try! i will try to be the best christian i can be but that may require some friend changes i may have to remove myself from people who can not accept my change or people who do not want to encourage me because god knows i will need it! i am afraid i will fail i although i know god will always love me i feel like he is calling me to do more what if i don't turn out to be all he thinks i am cracked up to be?
what if he calls me and i just fall over and throw a fit and scream i dont want to like meccia will it help? no i tryed and he still calls me he still speaks to me everyday give me your all your heart and soul and i will open doors for you! i am good with the doors i already have god but he just wont give up! you know you can run but you cant hide from the big man it has taken me 25 years to realize that!
so as for now i am makin changes i am trying to be all i feel god wants me to be a godly mother and wife someone who reflects god in her day to day life and i guess i will see where that takes me but i tell you all as scared as i am i do know it can only take me good places bigger places more peaceful places if i walk beside him everywhere i go i can only move forward!
so if you pray please pray for me please pray god will reveal himself to me please pray he will push me in the direction he wants me to go in ...
thanks and love in christ,
cody
i made a pact with myself a good long while back that i would begin to pray so i did! I actually begain to pray alot in this i realized he is there! he heard all of my prayers and answered some of them how i wanted him to! i have now come so far in my prayerful life that i like to talk to god as if he were sitting next to me! i argue with him when i feel like he is not doing what i want him to i cry to him when there is no one around sometimes i scream to him to help me when i feel like i just can not take it anymore and he hears me i know he does!
i have often taught sunday school, reading bible stories to children the night after i have gone out and gotten drunk with my friends! i used to think it was ok as long as no one knew or you know the old at least i made it here this morning thought. i have been part of the prayer chain i have bought toys for needy kids i have taken food at 6 am on christmas eve to familys in need i have helped with bible school and even scrubbed the church toilets a time or two...
this did not make me a christian this did not make what i do in my private life ok this did not justify the way i live in my day to day life. i can no longer be one person on sunday and another through the week... now dont get me wrong i am not a awful drunk who neglects her children and smokes crack i am just your average i like to go out and kick it in a bar with my friends and get away kind of person a girl who lets a cuss word fly every now and again, and that may be fine for some and it was fine for me, but not now
i feel like i am supposed to do more i am a half christian and that is not at all what god wants me to be i have to be a whole christian and of that i am afraid! i am afraid when people hear i want to make some changes that they will expect me to be perfect pointing out my every mistake as if i am some kinda billboard for the "messed up christian" i do not claim i will ever be perfect but i will try! i will try to be the best christian i can be but that may require some friend changes i may have to remove myself from people who can not accept my change or people who do not want to encourage me because god knows i will need it! i am afraid i will fail i although i know god will always love me i feel like he is calling me to do more what if i don't turn out to be all he thinks i am cracked up to be?
what if he calls me and i just fall over and throw a fit and scream i dont want to like meccia will it help? no i tryed and he still calls me he still speaks to me everyday give me your all your heart and soul and i will open doors for you! i am good with the doors i already have god but he just wont give up! you know you can run but you cant hide from the big man it has taken me 25 years to realize that!
so as for now i am makin changes i am trying to be all i feel god wants me to be a godly mother and wife someone who reflects god in her day to day life and i guess i will see where that takes me but i tell you all as scared as i am i do know it can only take me good places bigger places more peaceful places if i walk beside him everywhere i go i can only move forward!
so if you pray please pray for me please pray god will reveal himself to me please pray he will push me in the direction he wants me to go in ...
thanks and love in christ,
cody
turning a new page
So I know I have blogged before about this but I wanted to give you all an update!
Josh and I have made some major changes latley! We have decided to just give in and let God guide our lives! The trip so far has not been simple! We know we may have some hard times but if that is what it takes to do what God wants us to do in our lives then that will just have to be how it goes down!
We are both pumped we just want everyone to know how our life has changed for the better! We are leaning on each other more than ever right now and it has only brought us closer! Closer to each other and closer to God! Because our HOPE is always in him! Knowing that he will show us the way, and always be here for both of us!
We know our God is awsome and that he has broken us down and lifted us up to a higher place than we have ever been before!
God has forgiven me for all my sins and my life is much more stable now that I stand on the rock of our God!
Anyways I just wanted you all to know we are still on the road to "WE DON’T KNOW" but on the way we are so so so happy! If you knew Jesus at one point in your life and you have slipped away as we had you should think about getting that straightened out, if you know Jesus then you know the happiness we both feel right now, and if you do not know Jesus and would like to talk to me about getting to know him message me and I will show you how to get to know him!
ALL THE GLORY AND PRAISE BE TO GOD!
Cody
Josh and I have made some major changes latley! We have decided to just give in and let God guide our lives! The trip so far has not been simple! We know we may have some hard times but if that is what it takes to do what God wants us to do in our lives then that will just have to be how it goes down!
We are both pumped we just want everyone to know how our life has changed for the better! We are leaning on each other more than ever right now and it has only brought us closer! Closer to each other and closer to God! Because our HOPE is always in him! Knowing that he will show us the way, and always be here for both of us!
We know our God is awsome and that he has broken us down and lifted us up to a higher place than we have ever been before!
God has forgiven me for all my sins and my life is much more stable now that I stand on the rock of our God!
Anyways I just wanted you all to know we are still on the road to "WE DON’T KNOW" but on the way we are so so so happy! If you knew Jesus at one point in your life and you have slipped away as we had you should think about getting that straightened out, if you know Jesus then you know the happiness we both feel right now, and if you do not know Jesus and would like to talk to me about getting to know him message me and I will show you how to get to know him!
ALL THE GLORY AND PRAISE BE TO GOD!
Cody
Dear Britney
Brit I have been speaking to a close friend about the recent things that have gone on in my spirital life. She told me to remind myself of scripture, to really read my bible and let it speak truth into my life! She also recomended that I print out scripture and post it everywhere and I have.
In the office infront of the sink on the wall, and even right in front of the toilet so that everytime I pee I read scripture over and over...
You have always been my sister in Christ when noone else understood that CHURCH OF GOD you did because your mom raised her hands and you knew what it was to shout to the lord and speak in tounges! LOL
I know the scripture that says bring a child up in the way it should go and that child will never depart from it is so true! I have stepped away from God at times in my life but let me tell you he has yet to leave me! I may have headed out in the wrong direction at times but something has always brought me back to the strong Christian mom that raised me to know my Lord and savior Jesus Christ! I am so thankful for that. (NOTE TO PARENTS READING THIS) If you are a christian and do not have your children in church you need to get that in check for the reason you just read!
I tell you God has broken me down and I have cried out to him more recentlly than ever I have fallin on my face and cried for help. HE HAS LIFTED ME UP ANSWERED MY PRAYERS AND LET ME KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT HE HIS HOLY! And just when I think he is not there I fall into a scripture that reasures me he is!
Now on the words thing... So true it is so often that we take out our frustrations on the ones we love because we know they will love us still after the words are said.
I read EPHESIANS 5:33 to remind myself of how I am supposed to feel in my marriage and toward my husband!
"Nevertheless let each one of you in particuar so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband"
I love that!!!!!
It reminds me that we are one, in our marriage, and in Christ.
We are soul mates Britney and I know this from long ago although we do not see each other as much as we would like our souls are still in he same place and it blows my mind how we will be facing similar problems at the same time still today! I want you to know often I have placed all my faith and all my hope in Josh that he would be all I needed him to be that he would be enough to bring me up when I am down, and often he is... BUT he is human and people will let us down, but as you know God will never let us down, our hope and our faith must be in Christ not in people! HE IS ALWAYS ENOUGH!
Much love and I pray God will speak peace into your heart and thoughtfulness into the words that come from your mouth! We all have this problem at times and it is so wonderful that you posted a blog about it you will never know how many of us can relate!
I always think about the song if we are the body why aren’t his arms reaching?? I have heard so many pastors say if you knew the cure for cancer wouldn’t you go around shouting it to the world letting everyone know what it was...
Well we know the cure for lost souls the one and only way to an eternity of happiness JESUS CHRIST why are we so ashamed to shout it out to blog about it to tell everyone we know that we know the answer?? WE SHOULD NOT BE ashamed!
MUCH LOVE,
CODY
Remember this, Words are like seeds what we plant WILL GROW! Do you want them to be strong roots or weeds?Proverbs 31:26"When she speaks her words are wise and kindness is the rule for EVERYTHING she says!"
In the office infront of the sink on the wall, and even right in front of the toilet so that everytime I pee I read scripture over and over...
You have always been my sister in Christ when noone else understood that CHURCH OF GOD you did because your mom raised her hands and you knew what it was to shout to the lord and speak in tounges! LOL
I know the scripture that says bring a child up in the way it should go and that child will never depart from it is so true! I have stepped away from God at times in my life but let me tell you he has yet to leave me! I may have headed out in the wrong direction at times but something has always brought me back to the strong Christian mom that raised me to know my Lord and savior Jesus Christ! I am so thankful for that. (NOTE TO PARENTS READING THIS) If you are a christian and do not have your children in church you need to get that in check for the reason you just read!
I tell you God has broken me down and I have cried out to him more recentlly than ever I have fallin on my face and cried for help. HE HAS LIFTED ME UP ANSWERED MY PRAYERS AND LET ME KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT HE HIS HOLY! And just when I think he is not there I fall into a scripture that reasures me he is!
Now on the words thing... So true it is so often that we take out our frustrations on the ones we love because we know they will love us still after the words are said.
I read EPHESIANS 5:33 to remind myself of how I am supposed to feel in my marriage and toward my husband!
"Nevertheless let each one of you in particuar so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband"
I love that!!!!!
It reminds me that we are one, in our marriage, and in Christ.
We are soul mates Britney and I know this from long ago although we do not see each other as much as we would like our souls are still in he same place and it blows my mind how we will be facing similar problems at the same time still today! I want you to know often I have placed all my faith and all my hope in Josh that he would be all I needed him to be that he would be enough to bring me up when I am down, and often he is... BUT he is human and people will let us down, but as you know God will never let us down, our hope and our faith must be in Christ not in people! HE IS ALWAYS ENOUGH!
Much love and I pray God will speak peace into your heart and thoughtfulness into the words that come from your mouth! We all have this problem at times and it is so wonderful that you posted a blog about it you will never know how many of us can relate!
I always think about the song if we are the body why aren’t his arms reaching?? I have heard so many pastors say if you knew the cure for cancer wouldn’t you go around shouting it to the world letting everyone know what it was...
Well we know the cure for lost souls the one and only way to an eternity of happiness JESUS CHRIST why are we so ashamed to shout it out to blog about it to tell everyone we know that we know the answer?? WE SHOULD NOT BE ashamed!
MUCH LOVE,
CODY
Remember this, Words are like seeds what we plant WILL GROW! Do you want them to be strong roots or weeds?Proverbs 31:26"When she speaks her words are wise and kindness is the rule for EVERYTHING she says!"
thanks deanne!
I am a KEPT woman my friend "D" sent this to me and I thought it was a good read!
You see, there were a few times when I thought I would lose my mind, but GOD kept me sane. (Isa. 26:3)There were times when I thought I could go no longer, but the LORD kept me moving. (Gen 28:15)At times, I’ve wanted to lash out at those whom I felt had done me wrong, but the LORD kept my mouth shut. (Psa. 13)Sometimes, I think the money just isn’t enough, but GOD has helped me to keep the lights on, the water on, the car paid, the house paid, etc., (Matt. 6:25 -34)
When I thought I would fall, HE kept me up.
When I thought I was weak, HE kept me strong! (I Pet. 5:7, Matt. 11:28-30)I could go on and on and on, but I’m sure you hear me! I’m blessed to be ’kept.’
You see, there were a few times when I thought I would lose my mind, but GOD kept me sane. (Isa. 26:3)There were times when I thought I could go no longer, but the LORD kept me moving. (Gen 28:15)At times, I’ve wanted to lash out at those whom I felt had done me wrong, but the LORD kept my mouth shut. (Psa. 13)Sometimes, I think the money just isn’t enough, but GOD has helped me to keep the lights on, the water on, the car paid, the house paid, etc., (Matt. 6:25 -34)
When I thought I would fall, HE kept me up.
When I thought I was weak, HE kept me strong! (I Pet. 5:7, Matt. 11:28-30)I could go on and on and on, but I’m sure you hear me! I’m blessed to be ’kept.’
yep God... He is my hommie!
So I just wanted to post an update about how my new walk with Christ is going! I realized a few weeks ago that ok Josh is in this 100% and I am not as our pastor talked about his staff! Josh is WAC staff and Chuck spoke about how if you as staff are not in this 100% meaning all WAC is doing right now then you should not be here! WOW I thought as I walked out those doors as a support system to my husband I must be in 100% I have to support Josh and I have to support what I believe in! I do believe in Washington Avenue Church and all they are doing to reach people for Christ! As I walked out those doors and begain my drive home I prayed God help m to jump in 100% today NOW and I think he did! I had almost a sudden peace about all the changes WE have made in our home latley.
I feel strongly God is calling me to childrens ministry but am fighting with myself about it! WAC gives a personality class to help folks find out where there gift is called PLACE! To help you find your PLACE in church I will see what happens after the class and then decide what I should do although I feel God wants me to do it now and I maybe wrong for waiting! We'll see??
Anyways! Meccia prayed and asked God into her heart and I was so proud and excited for her and the decision to do that!
I think the only hard thing about making these changes is to know how FREE I feel to know how Josh and I have been freed from bondage we carried with us anger, distrust, dishonesty, bad parenting skills, sour spirituallity, among many other things how we have both been set free by our Lord, how our life has changed how we now stand firm in our beliefs! how our marriage is stronger than it has ever been, how our children see us walking the walk not only talking the talk! Just how a wieght has been lifted for us as a couple overall by rededicating our lives to Christ! It is hard to feel such joy and still see some of the people in our life still hanging on to worldly things still see them doing things they think make them BIG or COOL as childish as that sounds! I want to grab them and shake them and scream wake up, grow up, cry out to God and ask him to save you from yourself as we have and he will.! I witness to as many of them as I can and I pray for all of them daily but that is all I can do!
It is so hard to step away from what has been the norm in our life for so long so bitter sweet to see the light at the end of what has been a long tunnel but so hard to leave those who will not come with us on the other side if that makes any sense?
I can honestly say I am not perfect but I am better that I have ever been! We had a young couples dinner this past sun night we had a blast being around people who were on the same track as us! Hanging out at church felt much better than in a bar! Drinking Sprite and eating brownies, laughing, and being stupid! The next morning I did not even feel like crap! LOL! You know I thought I would be afraid to tell people look I don't do that anymore but I am not I AM PROUD ! And I think my true friends are proud of me too!
It has been nice to reconnect with my great friend Britney we were both raised in church! she is raising her children to have the same values as Josh and I have are our own children. She and her husband and thier four children have been coming to WAC and I am so happy! I really feel a close connection with Britney that I thought I may have lost forever!
So for tonight!
Thanks God for a prayer I prayed with Miranda, for a Godly husband, for WAC, and for my children, thank you God for Britney, and for all my new friends at church! Thank you for our mentors who have pulled us through this all CHRIS AND TAB, and for the closness you have given my husband and I, thank you for a new baby cuz ZACH and for two new ones on the way! Congrats Kasey and Beth! Thank you for all your many many blessings! Please continue to bless my family and ALL my friends weather they be on a Godly path or not! I throw in a special prayer for Kyli's Mom who I pray for everyday one because I promised her I would and two because she is my friend (5) she told me not so long ago God was working on her and I know tonight he still is. God bring peace to her heart and take hold of her hand lead her to were you want her to be! Show her the peace you have shown me. Dear God Please BEAT DOWN the door to those lost souls hearts out there and show them the love only you can give! For no matter where we are or what we are doing we all are all your children!
In his name I pray
AMEN
I am going to bed!
I feel strongly God is calling me to childrens ministry but am fighting with myself about it! WAC gives a personality class to help folks find out where there gift is called PLACE! To help you find your PLACE in church I will see what happens after the class and then decide what I should do although I feel God wants me to do it now and I maybe wrong for waiting! We'll see??
Anyways! Meccia prayed and asked God into her heart and I was so proud and excited for her and the decision to do that!
I think the only hard thing about making these changes is to know how FREE I feel to know how Josh and I have been freed from bondage we carried with us anger, distrust, dishonesty, bad parenting skills, sour spirituallity, among many other things how we have both been set free by our Lord, how our life has changed how we now stand firm in our beliefs! how our marriage is stronger than it has ever been, how our children see us walking the walk not only talking the talk! Just how a wieght has been lifted for us as a couple overall by rededicating our lives to Christ! It is hard to feel such joy and still see some of the people in our life still hanging on to worldly things still see them doing things they think make them BIG or COOL as childish as that sounds! I want to grab them and shake them and scream wake up, grow up, cry out to God and ask him to save you from yourself as we have and he will.! I witness to as many of them as I can and I pray for all of them daily but that is all I can do!
It is so hard to step away from what has been the norm in our life for so long so bitter sweet to see the light at the end of what has been a long tunnel but so hard to leave those who will not come with us on the other side if that makes any sense?
I can honestly say I am not perfect but I am better that I have ever been! We had a young couples dinner this past sun night we had a blast being around people who were on the same track as us! Hanging out at church felt much better than in a bar! Drinking Sprite and eating brownies, laughing, and being stupid! The next morning I did not even feel like crap! LOL! You know I thought I would be afraid to tell people look I don't do that anymore but I am not I AM PROUD ! And I think my true friends are proud of me too!
It has been nice to reconnect with my great friend Britney we were both raised in church! she is raising her children to have the same values as Josh and I have are our own children. She and her husband and thier four children have been coming to WAC and I am so happy! I really feel a close connection with Britney that I thought I may have lost forever!
So for tonight!
Thanks God for a prayer I prayed with Miranda, for a Godly husband, for WAC, and for my children, thank you God for Britney, and for all my new friends at church! Thank you for our mentors who have pulled us through this all CHRIS AND TAB, and for the closness you have given my husband and I, thank you for a new baby cuz ZACH and for two new ones on the way! Congrats Kasey and Beth! Thank you for all your many many blessings! Please continue to bless my family and ALL my friends weather they be on a Godly path or not! I throw in a special prayer for Kyli's Mom who I pray for everyday one because I promised her I would and two because she is my friend (5) she told me not so long ago God was working on her and I know tonight he still is. God bring peace to her heart and take hold of her hand lead her to were you want her to be! Show her the peace you have shown me. Dear God Please BEAT DOWN the door to those lost souls hearts out there and show them the love only you can give! For no matter where we are or what we are doing we all are all your children!
In his name I pray
AMEN
I am going to bed!
I thought it was dry skin?
So I have been dealing with THE FUNK for about two months now! I went to the doctor and they said you have dermititus we will give you some cream and all will be well. I tryed the cream and it hurt so bad to put it on i decided to not use it and let it go! "It will heal on it's own at some point I told myself"
WELL IT DID NOT HEAL! So off to the doctor I went once again. He said you have a fungus?? A fungus! He looks all over me and discovers it is also on my feet! I thought it was dry skin???? Anyways he said it is a foot fungus and it has been going on so long it has traveled and now is on your hand! Meanwhile my feet feel fine my hand is itchy and burning! He puts me on this fungus medication for a month!
Now I can deal with pain i had a ten pound kid with no medication but this stuff hurts. So last night I just finally told Josh i can't deal with this anymore i am in pain anything that touchs my hand hurts i can not take the top off of a sippy cup it hurts i can not wash my hair with that hand because the soap hurts too bad and it is getting worse after a month of meds rather than better so he said call the doctor.
i called him and he saw me this morning after trying everything else he has decided it is an immune disorder it is kind of like my immune system is confused it is attacking sickness in my body but it is also attacking my body it's self the attacks are brought on by stress. it will go away for brief periods of time but never forever, it will be somthing i will have to deal with forever. they have put me on a six day round of high dosage steroids and after that my only sorce of treatment will be UVA light treatments once a week (which i do not have time for but will have to do i guess) and botox treatments in my hands to kill some of the nerves to help with the pain and swelling??
I was in tears by the time i got to my car and josh called to see what the doctor said the first thing i told him was boo it's not going to go away and in the sweetest most soothing voice he said well ok what are we going to have to do to deal with it! i just cried i want it to go away i don't want to deal with it as he told me it would all be ok!
i know its not cancer i will not die from it but i am having a hard time with this. it is hard to type because my fingers are so swollen i can not bend them if i do bend them they will crack open and bleed.
i am writting to ask for your prayer. although to some it may not be a big deal i have never had anything that would not go away i need to function, i need to give my babies a bath without pain, i need to be able to open my own drink? I am just trusting that my God is an awsome god and he knows my need! He knows the desire of my heart to be happy and take care of my babies! I know he hears my prayer and my prayer is God heal me of this !!! Take it away i know he can and that is what i am going to pray for an out pouring of his healing all over my body to take this from me!
Thanks for listening and taking the time to read this i hope you will also keep me in your prayers!
IN HIM
Cody
WELL IT DID NOT HEAL! So off to the doctor I went once again. He said you have a fungus?? A fungus! He looks all over me and discovers it is also on my feet! I thought it was dry skin???? Anyways he said it is a foot fungus and it has been going on so long it has traveled and now is on your hand! Meanwhile my feet feel fine my hand is itchy and burning! He puts me on this fungus medication for a month!
Now I can deal with pain i had a ten pound kid with no medication but this stuff hurts. So last night I just finally told Josh i can't deal with this anymore i am in pain anything that touchs my hand hurts i can not take the top off of a sippy cup it hurts i can not wash my hair with that hand because the soap hurts too bad and it is getting worse after a month of meds rather than better so he said call the doctor.
i called him and he saw me this morning after trying everything else he has decided it is an immune disorder it is kind of like my immune system is confused it is attacking sickness in my body but it is also attacking my body it's self the attacks are brought on by stress. it will go away for brief periods of time but never forever, it will be somthing i will have to deal with forever. they have put me on a six day round of high dosage steroids and after that my only sorce of treatment will be UVA light treatments once a week (which i do not have time for but will have to do i guess) and botox treatments in my hands to kill some of the nerves to help with the pain and swelling??
I was in tears by the time i got to my car and josh called to see what the doctor said the first thing i told him was boo it's not going to go away and in the sweetest most soothing voice he said well ok what are we going to have to do to deal with it! i just cried i want it to go away i don't want to deal with it as he told me it would all be ok!
i know its not cancer i will not die from it but i am having a hard time with this. it is hard to type because my fingers are so swollen i can not bend them if i do bend them they will crack open and bleed.
i am writting to ask for your prayer. although to some it may not be a big deal i have never had anything that would not go away i need to function, i need to give my babies a bath without pain, i need to be able to open my own drink? I am just trusting that my God is an awsome god and he knows my need! He knows the desire of my heart to be happy and take care of my babies! I know he hears my prayer and my prayer is God heal me of this !!! Take it away i know he can and that is what i am going to pray for an out pouring of his healing all over my body to take this from me!
Thanks for listening and taking the time to read this i hope you will also keep me in your prayers!
IN HIM
Cody
The heart of the matter is...
Well as some of you know when eastee was born they found a small VSD (a hole in his heart) of course we were not happy they said usually in a couple of weeks it closes so we went to the cardiologist at 4 weeks old and nope had not closed so today we had to go back for a recheck and guess what no hole no noise nothing !!! HEALTHY HEART 21 pound 6 month old smiling happy and so blessed! Josh and i were soooo happy to hear the news!!
GOD is so gooooooodddddd!!!!!!
love,
Easton's Mommy!!
GOD is so gooooooodddddd!!!!!!
love,
Easton's Mommy!!
It is about BLACK folks!
Ok so I am completely in shock right now! Today I was "in so many words" called a racist by one of my long time friends due to an anti Obama email I sent out. I should have not sent out the email because I did not do my homework and the email that will be at the bottom of this turned out to be an untrue campaign. I have also found out that MLK Jr. was not a republican but his father was.
I was also told I had sent that person a "WHITE POWER" email. I am assuming she is speaking of an email I forwarded that spoke about why we have a black history month but no white history month it also stated we have a black miss universe pageant and no white miss universe pageant. Maybe that email was a little much to send to one of my black friends but yet again it was an email I liked so I forwarded it not only to her but about 20 other people of all colors. I guess I thought maybe my black friends would find these questions valid and maybe even comment on the email?
Now all of that aside this email I received went so far as to tell me this was the end of our friendship.
I guess I am just appalled because I thought I was about as far from racist as a person could get? Maybe I am wrong I am not typing this blog to bash my friend I am typing it to get opinions about it maybe I was wrong I sent the friend an email back with a sincere apology telling her I would never have wanted to hurt her ever.
Maybe I was wrong but I just didn't see anything wrong with forwarding an email? I mean do I as a white person have to keep all my opinions to myself to be friends with black folks? It seems that if you are not an obama supporter then you are racist? I mean if someone is my friend it should be because they like me not because they want me to be them. I am not black I never will be I do not act like I am black like some white people I do not have biracial children, I am married to a white guy, and so all that makes me racist I guess??
If I were me or a black person I would want my friends to be themselves all the time I would not want them to be fake and keep opinions to themselves because of me I want my friends to be real.
So now to be real I believe in what I think is right and one of those things is the bible and the bible says Jesus loved all the little children all the children of the world red and yellow black and white I want to be like him and I am I love everyone. I have no hatred in my heart for anyone of any color. I think it is sad that after all our parents went through to change this for us we are still fighting battles such as these!
I should not have to prove my friendship to one of my friends by thinking all of the same things they do. I should be able to be me all the time and that is what I am I could go on and on about the BLACK people in my life that I love and interact with on the daily but I do not need to list the BLACK friendships I have to anyone I am ok with me and that is what matters.
Maybe I should not forward emails about racial issues to anyone but white folks to keep from upsetting sensitive people but that just aint me so take me or leave me this is still me!
PS can we as a nation please remember OBAMA IS NOT BLACK he is BIRACIAL HALF WHITE just as white as he is black!!!!!!!!
I am really looking for honest comments I hope this blog does not get blown out of proportion like my email did… this is the email I sent…
HELP RAIN ON OBAMA'S PARADE! This is a campaign like no other. With your help, we will put up 50 - that's right - 50 "Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Republican" billboards all over the City of Denver, while the Democratic Party is having their national convention there. What a way to upset the "coronation" of the Democratic Party's "messianic" presidential nominee, Sen. Barack Obama. Arrogant is the word for Obama, a far left-winger, who is attempting to assume the mantle of Dr. King by giving his political acceptance speech on the anniversary of Dr. King's "I Have a Dream" inspirational civil rights speech. History shows that Dr. King was a minister who embraced the traditional values that made our country great. Obama has the most liberal voting record in the US Senate. Obama is no MLK. Join the fun. Donate now to our Denver billboard campaign and help make history. No amount is too small. Click here to donate to the NBRA's Denver billboard campaign.
I can not understand why I lost a friend I really thought was a good person over this? Would she rather I pretend I love Obama and Pretend I think it is right that there is no WHITE MISS USA?
Love to all and I do mean all,
Cody
I was also told I had sent that person a "WHITE POWER" email. I am assuming she is speaking of an email I forwarded that spoke about why we have a black history month but no white history month it also stated we have a black miss universe pageant and no white miss universe pageant. Maybe that email was a little much to send to one of my black friends but yet again it was an email I liked so I forwarded it not only to her but about 20 other people of all colors. I guess I thought maybe my black friends would find these questions valid and maybe even comment on the email?
Now all of that aside this email I received went so far as to tell me this was the end of our friendship.
I guess I am just appalled because I thought I was about as far from racist as a person could get? Maybe I am wrong I am not typing this blog to bash my friend I am typing it to get opinions about it maybe I was wrong I sent the friend an email back with a sincere apology telling her I would never have wanted to hurt her ever.
Maybe I was wrong but I just didn't see anything wrong with forwarding an email? I mean do I as a white person have to keep all my opinions to myself to be friends with black folks? It seems that if you are not an obama supporter then you are racist? I mean if someone is my friend it should be because they like me not because they want me to be them. I am not black I never will be I do not act like I am black like some white people I do not have biracial children, I am married to a white guy, and so all that makes me racist I guess??
If I were me or a black person I would want my friends to be themselves all the time I would not want them to be fake and keep opinions to themselves because of me I want my friends to be real.
So now to be real I believe in what I think is right and one of those things is the bible and the bible says Jesus loved all the little children all the children of the world red and yellow black and white I want to be like him and I am I love everyone. I have no hatred in my heart for anyone of any color. I think it is sad that after all our parents went through to change this for us we are still fighting battles such as these!
I should not have to prove my friendship to one of my friends by thinking all of the same things they do. I should be able to be me all the time and that is what I am I could go on and on about the BLACK people in my life that I love and interact with on the daily but I do not need to list the BLACK friendships I have to anyone I am ok with me and that is what matters.
Maybe I should not forward emails about racial issues to anyone but white folks to keep from upsetting sensitive people but that just aint me so take me or leave me this is still me!
PS can we as a nation please remember OBAMA IS NOT BLACK he is BIRACIAL HALF WHITE just as white as he is black!!!!!!!!
I am really looking for honest comments I hope this blog does not get blown out of proportion like my email did… this is the email I sent…
HELP RAIN ON OBAMA'S PARADE! This is a campaign like no other. With your help, we will put up 50 - that's right - 50 "Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Republican" billboards all over the City of Denver, while the Democratic Party is having their national convention there. What a way to upset the "coronation" of the Democratic Party's "messianic" presidential nominee, Sen. Barack Obama. Arrogant is the word for Obama, a far left-winger, who is attempting to assume the mantle of Dr. King by giving his political acceptance speech on the anniversary of Dr. King's "I Have a Dream" inspirational civil rights speech. History shows that Dr. King was a minister who embraced the traditional values that made our country great. Obama has the most liberal voting record in the US Senate. Obama is no MLK. Join the fun. Donate now to our Denver billboard campaign and help make history. No amount is too small. Click here to donate to the NBRA's Denver billboard campaign.
I can not understand why I lost a friend I really thought was a good person over this? Would she rather I pretend I love Obama and Pretend I think it is right that there is no WHITE MISS USA?
Love to all and I do mean all,
Cody
I am moving my blog
So I have always blogged on myspace but because everyone does not have access to my blog on there I have chosen to move it here! So I do not loose any of my old blogs I am going to attempt to transfer them onto this blog page! Now before you begin to read understand these are my feelings. You may not agree with them all but they are mine and not yours so I guess my point is if ya don't like what you read then just don't read it again!
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