A life of weeds or A life of love?

Tonight I got to go on an early dinner date with my super hot husband Josh! We left and on the way home I asked him to turn down my grandmothers road. She went home to be with the Lord a few months ago. I had not been back to her house since the night before her funeral.

As we pulled in to her drive way I noticed there were weeds all over the flower beds and the house looked empty. We got out of the car and took a walk around the yard where I noticed ant hills and more weeds. As I looked into the windows of her back porch I saw her ferns were still hanging where she had left them but were beginning to fade away just as she had. (I thought to myself she would have a fit if she saw her home like this) She was so particular about her home and her yard!



Josh had been wondering around too, and he called me over to look at an old sign he had found. The sign read "RUMFELT'S TELEVISION SALES AND SERVICE" It was old and rusted. I began to cry, the anger left my soul and the heart break set in as I stared at that sign, I thought of that house and that sign, a sign of the family business my grandfather now gone to be with the Lord also had started 40 years ago!



I thought of how I was standing right in the middle of all they had worked for all they had spent their lives creating, and now they are both gone and here it all sits alone with weeds growing all over it just waiting for the day they put a "FOR SALE" sign in front of it.

Behind my tears I heard the still small voice of god speak to me...He said Cody "is this really what you think of your grandparents?" Is this really the legacy you believe they intended to leave behind, what they wanted you to remember them for?"

NO NO NO! I thought to myself, this is a house, this is a sign from a business, the people who once ran that business and lived and kept this house are gone. BUT what they left behind is still very much living! The five children and over 20 grand and great-grand children are still here, each of them carrying a piece of Forrest and Faye into their own lives. They left behind a family...a whole pile of people made better to have known them, to have been encourage, and taught how to live life by them. They left a legacy of faith and love to those who came in contact with them. All they lived for and worked for in not sitting in that pile of bricks. What they lived and worked for is still very much alive in the family they left behind, and I would be doing them an injustice to think they would want me to look at that as what had truly mattered in their lives.

So I guess what I mean is tonight God used my grandparent's home to put some things into perspective for me. What kind of life am I living? Am I living my life to earn material things that will grow up with weeds and rot after I am gone, or am I living for the things that matter....am I living to leave a legacy of good character and love, one of faith and giving, one that will last in those who knew me long after I am gone. I want to live a life that matters like my grandparents did.

So to that house, as Josh & I sat on the front porch, I said goodbye tonight, but the legacy of Forrest and Faye Rumfelt it will flow through my veins and rest in my soul until I see them again.

ONE LOVE
Cody

Well you ask for it Lee Buford!

I recently posted this statement....(Stolen from one Pudge Huckaby) on my Facebook and someone said "that's a blog post Cody!"

So here we are with me giving you my look into this statement and the ways I am identified by this...

The statement was
Our calling isn't to KNOW all the answers, but rather, to LISTEN to Jesus & DO what He says! He is THE ANSWER we are called to KNOW!

Anyone who knows even a tiny bit about me could tell you I am a major control freak! I have based much of my self worth upon how well my life was planned and how well I then execute said plans within my life! You see the problem with that is I often FAIL! When you put unrealistic expectations on yourself you usually do not only FAIL but you are unhappy as you are falling deeper and deeper into your own self built pool of self-pity and disappointment!

I wonder sometimes if this is not the reason God blessed me with FOUR wonderful children! He knew they could single-handedly teach me I was not in control!

You see that's the first step acknowledging you are NOT IN CONTROL!

So once I realize through pure exhaustion that the day would never come when my life went exactly as planned I began asking myself who is in control? I immediately looked to my husband and that was an easy NO, God love him he is NOT A PLANNER! I then turned where I usually do in times of confusion, in times of trouble, in times of despair, heck in times of complete happiness, I pretty much always in up in Gods word one way or another!

I found this...
Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you.

Psalm 61 2&3 From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint, lead me to the rock that is higher than I, For you have been my refuge , a strong tower against the foe.

1 Peter 5-7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

time and time again I was reminded my help comes from the Lord. HE is in control of my life and I would be a lot less stressed if I would just take hold of those promises he made to me, that he would be at my side and allow him to lead me! So I gave it a try...and though it is sometimes hard to allow my controlling nature to sit alone in the corner of my mind I am COMFORTED by the fact that this battle is not mine! I AM NOT ALONE!

So in that I have realized I will never have all the answers, but as a child of God I am called to listen to Jesus....(read his word) (hear his still small voice...or in my case his sometimes very loud voice)

And in that I hear all the answers I need...

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

He is the answer we are called to know....

He is PEACE.....
(The only lasting kind I know of)

ONE LOVE,
Cody

Todays "Boog" update

Last night Josh and I had a long talk... As we discussed the situation we decided either God will heal my grandmother on this side of Heaven or he won't and he will take her home to be with him. In that statement I decided to begin to pray for comfort for my grandmother no matter what the situation may come to be.

This morning I rose to the normal crazy school morning in our house...Lunches to be made and kids to get going.

In the craziness of my morning there was glimmers of Gods grace, of his presence in our lives. Meccia was able to sleep through the night for the first time in three days. She woke up with a very low grade fever instead of the 103 temp she has been retaining over the past few days. I realized she is turning the corner to being well.

My phone rang shortly after I got Hali off to school and Josh out to Columbia. It was my mom. She called to tell me my grandmother who we all call Boog, who had brain surgery yesterday, had inspired her doctors as they made their rounds this morning.

This morning she should have been sore, barley awake, just realizing where she was and who everyone was, just getting back to herself. Instead she woke up and asked for coffee and some breakfast. She then asked if she could get up and sit in a chair and she DID!

As I heard the news God said to me in his oh so quiet voice COMFORT...He heard me he answered my prayer. She may not be healed but for now God is giving her comfort.

Today my cup runneth over. My blessings can not be measured!

Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
Psalm 23 4-6

Drop The Gun.......

Have you ever had that moment when you go..."What did I just do?" I think Beth Moore described my life best in a book I am reading when she said...

I had my headphones on and my ipod blaring. My left hand, complete with wedding ring and fresh manicure, was up in the air praising God, and my right hand was down by my side, gripping a shot gun. I know how to load it. I know how to use it. I grinned, shook my head, and thought to myself, How on earth did this happen....

As I read this it hit me hard I knew this was me, God constantly brings it to my attention to clean out parts of my old self that seem to resurface at times...

I feel my life is a bit two sided...I feel even though I praise my creator with genuine feeling and love him with every bit of my being there is still a part of me that is holding that shot gun...

Ready to handle things on my own if need be...

This makes me question how strong my faith is wondering do I fully rely on God? Will I ever be able to put down my shot gun and just trust that whatever comes my way HE CAN HANDLE!
Will I ever know that and fully trust in the fact that my God is big enough he doesn't need me for back up.

Deep down inside I know this but knowing and truly believing are two different things.
You can know something your whole life and never put it into action.. For example lots of people know they should eat better but unless they do it they will live the rest of their lives fat and unhealthy...

We can know we need to put our guard down lay our shot gun down and throw that other hand in the air and allow our "whole" selves to worship him free from the bondage of our past but if we never do it we will just live a life of chains never to walk in the total freedom of a new life in Christ...

This is what I think s many of us struggle with...Being "half surrendered" I think with me God is pressing in he is saying to me I want it all...I don't want the problems that are left over...The ones you couldn't handle on your own. I don't want the left over time...I don't want to be who you spend time with when you have nothing better to do...

MOST IMPORTANTLY I feel him saying I want your whole heart not just what is left over from the pain and hurt of your past, not just the pieces that you pushed to the front the few you had left that you thought where "God worthy"

I feel him saying "Cody I died for you"...and you don't think I can handle your problems, your insecurities, your heartaches, your pain...I can break these chains and set you free if you will just drop the gun....

Moses and my dad....

So my dad has struggled with praying out loud for sometime now and we talked about it the other day. He said "Cody I pray all the time to myself, but in front of a bunch of people I just get choked up" I said dad pray for God to give you words and he will...

The next night at choir he was called on to pray! AND HE DID! He called me and I was so proud! I said well how did you do? He said I think i did ok...

Yesterday in my quiet time I was lead to this scripture. Exodus 4:10-12
Here Moses pleads with the Lord, O Lord I'm just not a good speaker. I never have been, and I'm not now, even after you have spoken to me. I'm clumsy with words.
Who makes mouths? The Lord asked him. Who makes people so they speak or not speak, hear or not hear, see or not see? Is it not I, the Lord?

Then he tells Moses to go and do as he has told him. The Lord tells him I will help you speak well, and I will tell you what to say.

As followers of Christ we need to hear God's voice saying to us...You may not be able to do it on your own but I made you I know what you need and I will help you!

Moses took heed to those words and trusted in God's strength rather than focusing on what he couldn't do with his own strength.

I am proud of my dad for his outward praise in Choir practice and I know God was too!

Ab Lincoln once said without the assistance of the divine being...I can not succeed. With that assistance, I can not fail.

Work for the Lord or Live for the Lord?

Well it's been a while since my last post so here is whats on my heart for the moment. Question for us all of us today is "Do you have an intimate relationship with Christ or is it with Church?"

I think at times we think we must do for Christ instead of live for him! Look at your life are you consumed with Christ or with church! Do you wake every morning to get into the word of God to read your bible and get closer in your relationship with him or do you get up every morning to get onto your calendar and plan a church event? Do you ponder constantly about what more you can do, while letting your "Christ like" image slip away in the mist of your event planning?

I had to ask myself this question recently. What is more important my work or my relationship. I also had to pray that God would keep clear my spirit so that I do not confuse my love of ministry work with my love for Christ.

Are you so overwhelmed with Church that you forget it is not Christ. Yes Christ loves the church but without him in your life, without that relationship with him where are we all?

Do we hide our trash or our JUNK as Pastor Chris says by covering it with our work? Do we think the work we do is enough to impress God so much that we think the intimate relationship is not necessary? Do we cover our distant relationship with our work so that others won't know just how far we have slipped away from a true relationship with Christ.

When is that point when you break down and say I am working so much in my ministry that I don't even take the time to have a life outside of it. My marriage is consumed by my ministry, my children are consumed by my ministry, my thoughts are consumed by my ministry.

I heard someone say some times doing good things is not always the best thing? In other words you can do a lot of good things and be a good person, but at what cost are you loosing the best things to do the good things?

I guess we all have moments when we loose sight of what is really important in our life. We sometimes forget that it is not our works that gets us into Heaven, but our salvation. We must remember that God our father is in love with the fact that we love him. That we read our bible and actually live what it says. That we are in love with him not in love with what we do for him.

In saying this I have prayed God give me balance. Give me an open heart to know just what is my relationship with you and just what I maybe mistaking for you but is truley just work. Bring me closer to you, consume me with your GRACE & MERCY!

Keeping my "BLOG MOUTH" shut

Well I have kept my “Blog Mouth” shut about all of this stuff, but I think I am ready to share my feelings. I have been praying A LOT for god to help me be graceful. Graceful with my actions, with my words, and mostly in the feelings of my heart. Those of you who know me well know I struggle with my words.

So bare with me! Now Tab Lewis told me along time ago, Cody “People will let you down because they are people but God is always God always perfect, and HE will never let you down.” I have tried to remember that as time has gone on. A lot of times we put our faith in a person, or in a church, or in our works. They are all in the end not Christ, and we will be let down I am sure at some point by all of those other things.

I think we put pastors on a pedestal a lot of times almost like they are superhuman perfection. They are not they are just regular folks who screw up and have bad days just like the rest of us. I think sometimes we pour our heart and soul into a ministry or a church and when we leave we feel like we left God at that church or we left our heart and soul behind at a PLACE????? Well your heart may hurt but it dwells inside of you and so does Christ, he is not a place.

For a short while I wanted to run to that PLACE and defend myself shout at people and tell them can you not see what you are doing! Are you blind to all the anointed in your church? Do you know what GREAT GIFTS you are throwing out the door because you are not willing to sit down and work through some problems? You are willing to throw some of the greatest gifts God has blessed the ministry of WAC with under the bus to save face.

I then realized I don’t have to justify my gifts, or my husband’s gifs, or the gifts of others to anyone. God knows the hearts of all, he knows what gifts he has given, and he has a plan for exactly where those gifts will be used. He has a plan and it is not for us to fight and scream at some one.

I think it is for us to all lift one another up during this time of struggle. That is fully what I intend to do! I have been praying for WAC that God would continue to bless people through that ministry. I pray he would change the lives of people like my husbands life was changed while there. I pray he would give us all a clear vision of where he is leading us now, and what he would have us to do. I serve an amazing God.

So I may have left a place but I have not left my God!

I am disappointed, hurt, and heartbroken, but I refuse to be bitter. I will not let the devil steal my Joy. I have praised God from inside the doors of WAC and I will continue to do that outside of them.

I know God has a plan for me and my family. How could one person be so screwed up and be delivered by none less than Christ and his GRACE & HEALING and not continue to be used in some way!

So I end in saying I am happy in a way, happy God is leading us in a new direction. Excited to see where we will be and what we will be doing!

Psalms 3:3-6 says but you are a shield around me o Lord you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud and he answers me from his holy hill. I lie down and sleep I wake again because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.

It also speaks about SELAH which means stop, look, listen
That is our plan….


My heart morns the loss of a place I held so dear to my heart and the relationships I made there, but I am secure in knowing greater things are yet to come!

In Him,
Cody

On Thurs. The 9th of October I sent an email to a friend about how I was questioning weather or not I was called by God to do something? I told him that because of some hard issues that stood in the way or could make it hard for me to answer this call, I was considering just not answering what God was calling me to do. Well actually I said I need to pray about it some more. Now the truth be known I knew my calling, I did not know if I wanted to accept it? So sad I know but it is true.

Now moving on to the next day... I had a few conversations with Josh about this and I had of course been praying about it. To Josh once I realized this was my calling the only other question to ask myself was did I TRUST GOD enough to work out every and any issue that may stand in the way of me completing the task God had called me to do? Despite the fact a week earlier my daughter had fallen ten feet on to her head and God had let her walk away with only a bruise. Despite the many times God had spared my life when I look back and think I didn't desrve to live. I ask myself do I trust him enough, and my HONEST answer was "I don't know?"



Now onto that afternoon... Right before I left to go pick up my girls from school i got an email from Josh's dad this was what I read...


THE BRICK
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down
when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?' The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister. please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother,' he said, 'he rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.'
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

I then got my two baby boys in my van and left to pick up my girls and also a friend of Meccia's. I had gotten about three blocks from my house when I was hit by a old lady in a Caddy on my side and also on my 9 month olds door. It all happened so fast I don't even remember the
hit. I remember pausing to go ok am I ok... Yes now my door would not open so I craweled to the back to check on the boys they seemed ok. I went to call someone and I could not find my cell phone (it had been thrown across the car) So I rolled my window down as folks looked at me and kept going I realized no one was going to stop I could not call for help so I thought about what I read before and took the time to pray "oh God please help me I want to call my husband and 911!" I loooked down and there sat my phone, I then looked up and there was a fire fighter he was coming from another call and saw my wreck. WOW as the wreck went on and help arrived including pastor Chuck who just so happened to ride by, Josh, and several others I knew, I was able to breath and go God just threw a Caddy at my van so I would take the time to listen. God wispered to my soul and I was too busy to hear him , I was too busy, too wrapped up in my own life and what I thought I had to get done to say ok God I will make time for you.

How funny God spoke to me through an email? Needless to say all through my life God has shown me time and time again to listen and trust him, but more so than ever latley he has shown me slow down and take time to hear me when I whisper take time to make those moments of silence when you can really hear me clearly. Then when you do understand no matter what you think is going to make what I am asking you to do impossible know I am the ALL MIGHTY, I can part seas and move mountains and your little issues are nothing for me!

I learned alot through this scary event and thought I would pass on my lesson, please I hope I will always remember to listen I do not want God to have to throw another Caddy my way!
Loving my GOD!
Cody

WOW ever written a blog way back when then went back to read over it and found wow i was speaking truth into my own life! I knew what was going to happen before it happened? I am blown away by my "God I don't wanna" blog right now! I was just going through and reading over it and it just was so true it was not at all where i am but where i said i wanted to go since writing that blog which was actually written on March 3rd 2008 it was transfered from another blog on the date shown anyways it was like reading it was a direct word from god ask and you will recieve i asked for so many things only to recieve just those things it blows me away i thought back then i was asking so much god will never REALLY lead me where i need to go but he took me by the hand god will never answer my prayer to be a WHOLE christian and he took me under his wing and would not let me go, God would never let me do bigger things for the kingdom i am a screw up an idiot who has made more mistakes than God could ever begin to forgive me for! and he said you are forgiven walk this way with me and let me show you the BIG things i would like YOU to do! WOW and when i think i am not strong enough i just look back on my life if God can bring a screw up like me to a place of GRACE like this i owe him my everything my whole self! I am truley amazed by my AWSOME GOD and all he has done for my husband and I. MAN OH MAN!
me

God "I said I don't wanna"

so tonight at 1:30 am i can not sleep i am so confused! i have had some reservations about god and all that he brings i have often wondered although i have been raised in church is it all really real!
i made a pact with myself a good long while back that i would begin to pray so i did! I actually begain to pray alot in this i realized he is there! he heard all of my prayers and answered some of them how i wanted him to! i have now come so far in my prayerful life that i like to talk to god as if he were sitting next to me! i argue with him when i feel like he is not doing what i want him to i cry to him when there is no one around sometimes i scream to him to help me when i feel like i just can not take it anymore and he hears me i know he does!
i have often taught sunday school, reading bible stories to children the night after i have gone out and gotten drunk with my friends! i used to think it was ok as long as no one knew or you know the old at least i made it here this morning thought. i have been part of the prayer chain i have bought toys for needy kids i have taken food at 6 am on christmas eve to familys in need i have helped with bible school and even scrubbed the church toilets a time or two...
this did not make me a christian this did not make what i do in my private life ok this did not justify the way i live in my day to day life. i can no longer be one person on sunday and another through the week... now dont get me wrong i am not a awful drunk who neglects her children and smokes crack i am just your average i like to go out and kick it in a bar with my friends and get away kind of person a girl who lets a cuss word fly every now and again, and that may be fine for some and it was fine for me, but not now
i feel like i am supposed to do more i am a half christian and that is not at all what god wants me to be i have to be a whole christian and of that i am afraid! i am afraid when people hear i want to make some changes that they will expect me to be perfect pointing out my every mistake as if i am some kinda billboard for the "messed up christian" i do not claim i will ever be perfect but i will try! i will try to be the best christian i can be but that may require some friend changes i may have to remove myself from people who can not accept my change or people who do not want to encourage me because god knows i will need it! i am afraid i will fail i although i know god will always love me i feel like he is calling me to do more what if i don't turn out to be all he thinks i am cracked up to be?
what if he calls me and i just fall over and throw a fit and scream i dont want to like meccia will it help? no i tryed and he still calls me he still speaks to me everyday give me your all your heart and soul and i will open doors for you! i am good with the doors i already have god but he just wont give up! you know you can run but you cant hide from the big man it has taken me 25 years to realize that!
so as for now i am makin changes i am trying to be all i feel god wants me to be a godly mother and wife someone who reflects god in her day to day life and i guess i will see where that takes me but i tell you all as scared as i am i do know it can only take me good places bigger places more peaceful places if i walk beside him everywhere i go i can only move forward!
so if you pray please pray for me please pray god will reveal himself to me please pray he will push me in the direction he wants me to go in ...
thanks and love in christ,
cody

turning a new page

So I know I have blogged before about this but I wanted to give you all an update!
Josh and I have made some major changes latley! We have decided to just give in and let God guide our lives! The trip so far has not been simple! We know we may have some hard times but if that is what it takes to do what God wants us to do in our lives then that will just have to be how it goes down!
We are both pumped we just want everyone to know how our life has changed for the better! We are leaning on each other more than ever right now and it has only brought us closer! Closer to each other and closer to God! Because our HOPE is always in him! Knowing that he will show us the way, and always be here for both of us!
We know our God is awsome and that he has broken us down and lifted us up to a higher place than we have ever been before!
God has forgiven me for all my sins and my life is much more stable now that I stand on the rock of our God!
Anyways I just wanted you all to know we are still on the road to "WE DON’T KNOW" but on the way we are so so so happy! If you knew Jesus at one point in your life and you have slipped away as we had you should think about getting that straightened out, if you know Jesus then you know the happiness we both feel right now, and if you do not know Jesus and would like to talk to me about getting to know him message me and I will show you how to get to know him!
ALL THE GLORY AND PRAISE BE TO GOD!
Cody

yep God... He is my hommie!

So I just wanted to post an update about how my new walk with Christ is going! I realized a few weeks ago that ok Josh is in this 100% and I am not as our pastor talked about his staff! Josh is WAC staff and Chuck spoke about how if you as staff are not in this 100% meaning all WAC is doing right now then you should not be here! WOW I thought as I walked out those doors as a support system to my husband I must be in 100% I have to support Josh and I have to support what I believe in! I do believe in Washington Avenue Church and all they are doing to reach people for Christ! As I walked out those doors and begain my drive home I prayed God help m to jump in 100% today NOW and I think he did! I had almost a sudden peace about all the changes WE have made in our home latley.
I feel strongly God is calling me to childrens ministry but am fighting with myself about it! WAC gives a personality class to help folks find out where there gift is called PLACE! To help you find your PLACE in church I will see what happens after the class and then decide what I should do although I feel God wants me to do it now and I maybe wrong for waiting! We'll see??
Anyways! Meccia prayed and asked God into her heart and I was so proud and excited for her and the decision to do that!
I think the only hard thing about making these changes is to know how FREE I feel to know how Josh and I have been freed from bondage we carried with us anger, distrust, dishonesty, bad parenting skills, sour spirituallity, among many other things how we have both been set free by our Lord, how our life has changed how we now stand firm in our beliefs! how our marriage is stronger than it has ever been, how our children see us walking the walk not only talking the talk! Just how a wieght has been lifted for us as a couple overall by rededicating our lives to Christ! It is hard to feel such joy and still see some of the people in our life still hanging on to worldly things still see them doing things they think make them BIG or COOL as childish as that sounds! I want to grab them and shake them and scream wake up, grow up, cry out to God and ask him to save you from yourself as we have and he will.! I witness to as many of them as I can and I pray for all of them daily but that is all I can do!
It is so hard to step away from what has been the norm in our life for so long so bitter sweet to see the light at the end of what has been a long tunnel but so hard to leave those who will not come with us on the other side if that makes any sense?
I can honestly say I am not perfect but I am better that I have ever been! We had a young couples dinner this past sun night we had a blast being around people who were on the same track as us! Hanging out at church felt much better than in a bar! Drinking Sprite and eating brownies, laughing, and being stupid! The next morning I did not even feel like crap! LOL! You know I thought I would be afraid to tell people look I don't do that anymore but I am not I AM PROUD ! And I think my true friends are proud of me too!
It has been nice to reconnect with my great friend Britney we were both raised in church! she is raising her children to have the same values as Josh and I have are our own children. She and her husband and thier four children have been coming to WAC and I am so happy! I really feel a close connection with Britney that I thought I may have lost forever!
So for tonight!
Thanks God for a prayer I prayed with Miranda, for a Godly husband, for WAC, and for my children, thank you God for Britney, and for all my new friends at church! Thank you for our mentors who have pulled us through this all CHRIS AND TAB, and for the closness you have given my husband and I, thank you for a new baby cuz ZACH and for two new ones on the way! Congrats Kasey and Beth! Thank you for all your many many blessings! Please continue to bless my family and ALL my friends weather they be on a Godly path or not! I throw in a special prayer for Kyli's Mom who I pray for everyday one because I promised her I would and two because she is my friend (5) she told me not so long ago God was working on her and I know tonight he still is. God bring peace to her heart and take hold of her hand lead her to were you want her to be! Show her the peace you have shown me. Dear God Please BEAT DOWN the door to those lost souls hearts out there and show them the love only you can give! For no matter where we are or what we are doing we all are all your children!
In his name I pray
AMEN
I am going to bed!