Which is better two daddy's or one?

Well as most of you know I have a daughter named Hali from my first marriage. Her daddy's name is Chad. Her other daddy's name is Josh. You see Josh and I got married when Hali was just over two years old. Shortly there after we had Meccia. As you all know when you have a new baby you start to say things like "Go to daddy" to your child even though they are really too small to say it. Well Hali picked up on the fact Josh was Meccia's daddy so she started calling Josh daddy too! I think she was so small when we married she doesn't ever remember not having two daddy's.

So with the explanation out of the way now onto the explanation.(HAHA) When Hali went to K4 she started to question why she had two daddy's and some of the other kids in her class did not. We always just gave her this answer "God loved you so much he gave you two daddy's to love you." That worked for Hali and we thought we were in the clear. We also have taught our other children who Chad is and also they as Hali did with Josh have begun to know Chad's mother as Grammy because that is what Hali calls her.

So moving on. Meccia has gotten old enough to realize that Hali gets to leave us every other weekend to go spend time with her other daddy and his family while she gets to stay here. Josh's mom was so kind as to offer to let Meccia spend Friday nights with her on the weekends Hali is gone to help ease some of the confusion and frustration and maybe even a bit of jelousy Meccia was feeling at the time. Well as Josh and I talked about it we realized maybe letting Meccia leave every time Hali did defeated the purpose of Meccia having two married parents. For a while it was like we shared custody with Josh's mom. Knowing she was only trying to help Meccia's feelings! We tried to explain to Meccia one of the benifits of having married parents was you don't have to leave us every other weekend. Even still in Meccia's five year old heart and mind Hali gets to leave for a weekend long sleepover, and sometimes comes home telling Meccia all the fun things she did while she was gone, and Meccia was stuck here with her sibblings and "SAME OLD PARENTS" she has always had! Why don't I get to go mommy?

Now I don't want anyone to think Meccia is not happy with her daddy she loves him. She wants the sleepovers not the spare dad! We have tried many things to comfort her. Dates alone with her dad to help her feel special, play dates to have friends over while Hali is gone. Still allowing her on occassion to go spend the night at Nana & PaPa's who she loves so much, and we will continue to always try our hardest to make Meccia feel she is a VERY SPECAL part of our family.

In the end though it still remains the same. Hali will forever have two daddy's and even a spare whole family, that my other children don't have. There will be many times to come when it will be hard to say good bye to her for a weekend or a while on a Holiday. At some point my other kids are going to realize this is just how our family works and we just have to adjust.

I guess right now I am just praying little Meccia will one day be happy she only has ONE DADDY! Although this is always how life has been she is just getting old enough to realize it, and to try and understand it. I pray that she will find comfort in knowing we love her so and her daddy loves her enough for two daddy's!

This I am sure will be a long road for our family and we always have the intention of being as honest as possible with both of our girls. In doing that we want them to feel loved. I guess every family is different , and we all have our our things we must deal with. For the most part I feel like we are happy and so are our children, but to see one of your children walk out the door and leave you to spend time with another family is hard but it is even harder to see another of your babies cry for her when she is gone!